Updated: Mar 27, 2022
Reassurance. We need it so much growing up and that's okay, but, I think it becomes a hindrance as we enter adulthood. I work with children, I have children, I know how important it is to reassure them. I've always said that if a child knows that you believe in them, they will rise. In my experience at least 85% of the time. It's beautiful.
The adult world is less accommodating. Still, we release these unsuspecting young adults into it, a world that takes no prisoners and will not back them. The world responds when the success story hits. There are few who show interest in prologue, sure, once you've succeeded it becomes relevant, but before that, we have to believe in ourselves. No one else gives a shit. Why should they? I'm not peddling that the world is a terrible place or trying herald doom, but I have seen many a twenty-something crash and burn in the face of indifference because they were somewhat overindulged. Bless them. Will I encourage my children any less? F#*k no! But, I have to prepare them for the truth of the world without deflating them completely. Meh, every parent's catch 22. Harsh, but true.
Is it a human condition, or a need for camaraderie or belonging? What ever it is, I can honestly say that I only began to shed this, need for comfort and encouragement post spiritual awakening. Post 35! All the years before, living in fear of disapproval. (though few would've suspected it) What a waste of valuable time and energy! All the same, it's never too late, we learn when we learn.
My lessons have been FO interesting. During readings I experience something new, I doubt it instantly. Despite my guide saying ''you know it's right'' or ''yes, exactly'' I still seek counsel. I still feel the need to check! And what do the wise and wonderful friends and colleagues say? ''Yes, you were right.'' FML.
I recently did a past life regression. Oddly enough I had never done one before. I saw some interesting stuff and my guide had a ball talking to someone else but the fact is, I learnt that I have already regressed my self..... many times. I suspected as much, but I ignored it, doubted myself.
🙄 I'm so annoying. I always assume that someone else knows better, I always research to look for similarities or confirmations. I read an interesting article about dealing with fear by Leo Babauta, he wrote, ''None of these things are wrong or bad — they’re so human! But it’s a fear we have to face at some point if we ever want to make an impact on the world.'' That resonated.
Okay - the climax of my ramblings is this: I don't have all the answers, I will be learning until I die, but I think its high time I exhibited a little more faith in myself. Half the world already thinks I'm crazy, at least 15% think I'm damned, maybe 5% agree with me and I really don't care about the remaining 30%. I don't care anymore, I just don't have the energy. So what am I afraid of? Being wrong? Being right? Being Seen? I think I'm afraid of not being afraid. I think I found comfort in the familiarity of that fear... but I dressed it up as caution. It's self doubt in sheep's skin- I let the wolf in. F%#k. 🐺