• staceyjduffy

To orgasm or not to orgasm? That, is a DAFT question.

In amongst the latest shift that I’m experiencing, I have developed an insatiable desire for more information. About everything! I have enrolled in seminars and courses, and I am reading as though my life depended on it. So when my beautiful cousin told me about a series called The goop Lab on Netflix I was intrigued. With her being my soul sister, I know that if she’s into it, I’ll love it! After the kids were in bed, I sighed the sigh of motherhood and pushed play. WOW!!! Psychedelic ceremonies and Wim Hof!! After episodes 1 and 2, I am not only hooked but living vicariously through Gwyneth Paltrow and her team. God, I would looooove to do these things, live these experiences!

By episode 3 I am dying to know where we are going... Yessssss Maaann! Sex, sensuality, orgasms, a woman who raises the bar, misconceptions, self-love and vulvas for days!!! Yes, you read it correctly, vulvas, everywhere!

OMG! I am officially a goop groupie 🤭


I am often in awe of the amazing people in the world. People who are trying to help, raise awareness, fight stigma, or just inspire! This episode does not disappoint as they introduce me to Betty Dodson, founder of a foundation of the same name, her life‘s work is educating women about sex and orgasms! (What a legacy.) She immediately makes my heart smile and inspires me to be more, I hang on her every word.


Now I'm sure many of you feel that you know 'what's what' and don't really need more educating. Fine, you are lucky. The truth is you are part of the minority. As confirmed by the stats on the show, many women do not feel sensuality, they are not active in their orgasms, and they experience shame and inadequacy issues for a multitude of reasons. How sad! I write about it because there is an older version of me that can relate. Honestly, there is a big part of me that still has body image issues and is overly aware of my parts that jiggle. Here is what Betty and the goop Lab affirmed for me: Sexiness and sensuality are not qualities that your partner can bestow upon you. It is intrinsic.... we need to learn to feel it, believe it, exude it. Is it easy? NO. Is it liberating? YES!!!! I still have insecurities, and while my partner can make me feel sexy, I don't NEED him to. I can appreciate that I'm my kind of sexy all on my own.


How many women recall wondering if he/she finds you sexy? It's hugely intimidating and only as I aged and became more comfortable in my skin did I shift the narrative to ''Do I find me sexy?'' soon to follow was ''what do I want?'' And finally, the realisation that my partner is not likely to become a telepath in this lifetime. So, I was actually going to have share the information. Haaaa haaaa! 😂 It has been a road, and there is more road ahead but still, when I think back to the old me, I have compassion - and the overwhelming urge to facepalm. 🤦🏽‍♀️


Also highlighted in this episode was the fact that many women do not know what the vulva is nor where to find it. This surprised me. We need to know our own anatomy; we need to acknowledge ourselves as sexual beings. I'm fairly certain that most men can give you a detailed description and draw a bloody picture. Why are women so shy?


I don't intend for the post to be a giant spoiler because you really owe it to yourselves to go and watch it and my humble recount does it no justice! Show it to your daughters, show it to your gran!!!!


The point: Episode 3 left me feeling inspired and heard and full of girl power!!! And that is because the goop - Betty Dodson collaboration did an incredible job of staring down a topic that many consider taboo and saying ''bitch, please....we all do this, we get it, SO WHAT?


To close I say, get over yourself, get comfortable, get familiar with your parts, and GET YOURS!!!! 🧨


Thank you, goop, thank you Betty Dodson.

FYI: Your vagina is not actually involved in sex. 🤯 I knooow!!!!!


Below, Emma Stone brilliantly portraying my insecurities...😉


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