Updated: Mar 4, 2021
I have been miserable! Initially I thought it was because of my unfortunate arse muscles, but it’s more than that.
When I feel like this I doubt everything. Myself, my decisions, EVERYTHING. Riding on my new governing mood, I drank fizzy drinks and turned to an all knowing source of comfort.... Flings🤦🏻♀️ I literally smashed a bag of these guys. Not because I was on auto pilot but because I was feeling sorry for myself. Consciously having the biggest pity party. When I looked int the abyss of the empty bag, I sighed. There were no answers in there.
Why do I do this? Here’s how my evil twin - the saboteur - operates, she hijacks my thoughts...
I’m injured. I can’t train whaaaat is it all for? All progress will be lost, my whole life no longer has any meaning!
I'm hungry, I’ll just eat this whole bag of crap, my whole health journey is RUINED anyway. There’s no point, I might as well enjoy myself.
I feel so down, I should! Life is sooo hard! Omg poor me....
I can’t even meditate I’m so disconnected. Nooooo! Even your guides have left you!
I should write about this, about how this feels. WHY? Literally, no one cares.
Some of you may recognize this sneaky misery loop. Like a virus that hacks your aura and slowly turns it to mud!
The truth is, all of this nonsense is me, trying to protect me. I recently spoke to my cousin/soul sister and we agreed that Road to Spirit needs social media pages. Not me personally but the blog. It may not be every ones cup of tea but, as I said in Light them up! - one is enough.
You may recall that I have a fear of exposure, my saboteur is trying to make me give up before I start. That way I can’t be judged, or disappointed, If I just abandoned my quest for health now, no one would know - I am safe. It’s The Sneaky Snap Back.
I lived behind those walls for faaaaar too long. As I type I have Diana Ross dancing in my head, I hear it so clearly...🎶 I’m coming out, want the world to know...🎶 Omg, how corny? I love it! So here on my patio in the wee hours of the morning, I push the snap back aside and snap out of it!
Onward....I'm coming out.
(Is that song stuck in your head?) Haaaaa haaaa🤣🤣