Construct or Create?
We often hear that everything happens for a reason, or that things happen as they should. “It's all part of the journey”. I believe that I really do, but we cannot always see how the pieces fit together. Religious people will say it's their relevant Gods plan. Spiritual people will refer to divine timing and karma. We choose to be content in the knowing that one day it will make sense.
Lately, I have been staring upon a blank canvas. I am starting over. It is, in truth - an intimidating place to be. My new beliefs about life and death have undoubtedly changed me. Although they bring a new sense of clarity and freedom, within that freedom, I am intimidated. I harbour no fear of failure, but fear of success.... well, that is quite real.
It's hysterical! All the work and introspection I've done and here I stand with the power to create whatever I want and I'm frozen. The inner dialogue - '' WTF Stacey?'' Ha, ha! 😂 I initially did many a meditation on the topic. Trying to analyse it, understand, see the way forward. I found memories and lessons from the past, glimpses of people no longer here, some 'trippy' experiences, but it was sans any actual advice.
On recurring occasions, my main guide, draped in red with her very superior vibration, kept showing me the same thing over and over again. Me dancing in a field, me dancing around a fire, me dancing with some random person at a random place, me dancing allll the time. Also recurring were two tarot cards. Whether I pulled them, or they fell out or jumped out. The 3 of Cups and The Sun. Now if you know me, this all seems bloody wonderful!!!! I'm happy to dance for days and days and party my way into the future.... but that is not what she meant.
The best and shortest way to summarise the metaphor. STOP PLANNING! I always refer the way I lived life. I ‘checked the boxes’ and kept all feelings at bay. Planning is always necessary, but it is also an extension of control. If left unchecked, it become the construction of a new life as opposed to the creation of one. So now I am tasked with doing the opposite. EXPERIENCING, living. It is a more comfortable vibration now than it has ever been, but still. I'm nervous... and excited. 😉