Updated: Feb 2, 2022
So, today I write this post while sitting in shame. Shame because I let ego get the better of me. Yes, I know I won’t get it right all the time -still- I’m hard on myself because I should know better.
Awakening is an experience like no other. We are soaked to the bone in a deluge of information, explanations and confirmations! We’re set at ease by the knowing that we always felt different for a reason. Passion is ignited and we are called to action. Because... love and light and all of that...
For me, it was beautiful and harrowing and imperative. But therein lies the rub.... ''FOR ME''
I recently caught myself stuck in ego...and through retrogression - I was waving the spirituality flag as I did it. A hypocrite. My worst🤦🏻♀️ I’m sure you have been there too. When someone comes to you for advice. The same advice - again. They complain about the same pains - again. Repeat the same patterns - again
In my case this person just cannot see the self perpetuating cycle. I know that it comes from great hurts and traumas but still I was impatient and annoyed. Wondering “why can’t she just see it?” Because she is governed by her pain. She is ‘asleep‘ and afraid to go in. I know EXACTLY what that is like! I minimised her experiences because 'I'm soooo far ahead of her'...OMG. 😬 Granted, I am super busy and super stressed but that is no more hers, than her blissful slumber, is mine.
WTF? Imagine if (in the beginning) Jason or Sam had said to me, “Listen, you’re actually just a fraud. You are pathologically petrified and doing what you think you should. Wake up! “😱😱 (Okay, they would have been right) but that would have destroyed me!
Here I am on my spiritual pedestal. When we awaken, we wake with a better ability to understand self. Apparently I’m under the impression that I awoke as Freud or Plato. I am mortified. This person has not lived my awakening, I have not lived her experiences. It is called SELF-realisation for a reason. It cannot be forced upon another. I have to be patient. Maybe she will see, maybe she never will.. I can still listen. Should the day come where I am tired of listening I can decide not to. But I do not get to judge her.
As I said way back in Speaking Your Truth, spirituality is not a stick to beat people with.
I have been quoted as saying, “my shoes, my path, my life.“ I'll have to remind my self to show others the same respect.
I am forced to acknowledge how young I am in this journey to spirituality. I endeavour to remember compassion😩
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