Today I got a good look some of my eating habits on two separate occasions:
1: My husband ran into a biltong shop to grab a snack. Because I’m vegan he got me a bag of mixed nuts. I thanked him, took the bag and opened it. As I was about to put a handful in my mouth my consciousness gave me a scolding!
My inner monologue...
“Why are you eating this?“
Does it matter? It’s good for me....
”But are you hungry?”
2: I made some a vegan Mac and cheese. (Made from scratch so I know whats in it) it was delicious. As I finished the last bite I thought, “that was yummy. I’m actually a little full.“ And then it dawned on me.....I had gotten up, dished a second helping and eaten it all without actually paying attention. LIKE A BLOODY ROBOT!!!!
I flashed back to a section of What are you hungry for?
The idea of not being in control of my eating and having autopilot sabotage my efforts, ANNOYS THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!!! I am also exceedingly hard on my self. So after I recognised and stopped the downward spiral of self degradation and shame I could actually see the bright side.
I can now see it. I am now conscious. (More conscious at least) I am heading in the right direction. ☀️
So, I carry on...
SIN: Pasta is too heavy. It makes me feel quite bloated and sick. Wonderful🙄
SIN: = Something I Noticed