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My guides irritate me...

I have been caught in somewhat of an existential crisis. Why am I doing all of this? Why do I write this blog? Because it makes my heart smile. Yes! It really does. ๐Ÿ’š Still, I keep wondering, ''where am I headed?''

I have a full time job, that I love, I write this blog and I manage all the social media for Road to Spirit. (I am slowly discovering that social media could actually be a full time job on it's own). I'm not harbouring any delusions of grandeur. I am not looking to recruit millions of followers and become an 'influencer'. I've said it before and I'll say it again.... one is enough. One person who laughs on a bad day, one person who says ''yesss'' after reading a post, or one person who is moved to think about something differently. Just one. That being said, everything I put out carries my name, my brand, a piece of me. For that reason, I care about it.

I've thought about this ad nauseam. Where am I going? This question is a maze and I am regularly frustrated by it. When I ask my guides for clarity I met with another question: ''Why do you need to know?'' Oh for God's sake! Have they met me?!!!! I find this infuriating -I'm sure they pissed themselves at my irritation- Feeling as though I had gained no ground in this area, I decided to move on. Yes, it was a total 'brat response' to receiving an answer I didn't like, but it made me feel better in that moment.

Days passed and true to form, the more I tried not think about it, the more I did. I recalled something I'd read in Joe Dispenza's book Becoming Supernatural. He speaks a lot about manifesting. He gives a detailed 'recipe' on putting your desires into the universe and then living your life in a way that attracts them to you. I have done it, many times. Still do. The part that has me so captivated now is the waiting, waiting for the universe to bring what you have created. I am not new to relinquishing my hopes and dreams to a force beyond my control.

And yet, here I am trying control a future that I cannot foresee. What I can see is that it all comes down to detachment really. I am so happy at the moment. Writing this gives me joy. Putting poetry and memes out on social media makes me happy. IS THAT NOT ENOUGH?

In response I have decided to be present and bask in the happiness. I detach from the outcomes -what ever they may be- and choose to enjoy the process. To quote George Michael, ''you gotta have faith.'' It is with tremendous annoyance that I concede...I don't need to know. FML - It killed me to type that...๐Ÿ™„

Be present, detach, have faith, Live.๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผ

(To the person from Australia who asked where I am based~: JHB, South Africa ๐Ÿ™‚)

My Guides ๐Ÿ‘‡

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