It’s lonely out here....

Last night I sat and pondered change. As I did so, I recalled some sayings, ‘change yourself’,‘don’t fear change’, ‘change is the only constant.‘

All true....but I compelled to think “blah, blah blah”

I find change to be lonely. I have a huge, wonderful and crazy family. Some of them think (or hope) it’s a phase, some of them support me fully, some of them look at me like I crawled out of cheese, some just avoid talking about ‘it’ and others are praying for my soul. The one thing they all have in common: THEY LOVE ME! Thats a really beautiful thing, I swell with gratitdue. 💚 I am blessed.

I have never undertaken to change anyone’s path or challenge their beliefs and we can all love and respect eachother with in that. We still have the best time together. So why the loneliness?

Once you start on this road you are engulfed by what you discover and seduced by the notion that there is more- much, much more! The further you go, the more you find....it is insatiable. I have experienced some incredible things, developed a love for Buddhism, found that I have aspirations to be like Kali and I have seen (not with my eyes).

I actually don’t have the words to explain it. The point is, there are maybe two people who get it. And that’s lonely.

Yes, I have met incredible people, but they are not MY people. Luckily I have met myself, and it’s wonderful. Alas! Nothing good will come from sitting and talking to myself at a coffee shop😂😂😂

I don’t need approval but sometimes a chat when you know that their soul and yours are on the same vibe ...is nice. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It sometimes feels like I lit a fire and then worked so hard that I became the flame...and now I spend most of my time trying to dim it down.

Perhaps, this too shall pass...