Updated: Dec 19, 2021
It’s been a rollercoaster lately. Really, I have been caught so off guard by the spiritual, physical, emotional events of late. Still, even when I'm knee deep in the drama that prevails, I have hope or faith or a knowing that I will come out the other side. I know I'll have learnt something new. I don't run the hamster wheel of pity and overthinking and, and, and. Though I do still sometimes find myself on it, I can see it, catch it, and get off.
These are things that have come after years of work. It is not easy!!! Someone accused me of thinking I'm perfect. Ha haaaaa! Hysterical, I am (at best), a messy work in progress. But the changes are what causes others' discomfort. Not doing what is done because society said so. Not thinking what is thought because others have thought for years before me. Not accepting what I don't like. Laying down boundaries, that are not negotiable. People will not understand. To try and make them is folly. We have to sit in peace with our decisions.
I often read articles and books and research papers about bliss, or nirvana or spirituality or God consciousness. I do not propound that these authors have not lived mystical, high vibrational, profound and DNA altering experiences. Sometimes I can't put the literature down. But in my newfound sense of excitement and expansion, I have found that these articles and books have the potential to be counterproductive. The authors are explaining in incredible, captivating detail what they have seen, heard or lived and in that same breath, they will implore the reader to be present.
The difficulty (as I see it) is that people who are seeking are often seeking what is difficult to comprehend. So, when we read these recounts, we assume that that is what we are looking for. We begin to chase the mysticism of others; we are subconsciously creating what we think is right because our minds actually can’t imagine it. We think everyone else is better. “They must know”. Isn't that the opposite of being present? I'm not saying that these people are wrong to share, I do it too. I'm saying that we need to take the 'this is how' vibe out of it and implore the reader to be quiet and see what comes -because it’s not likely to be the same as anyone else.
A good example of this is the idea of using the ever elusive sixth sense to “see dead people.” Most like to imagine the spirit that comes through draped in a warm white glow and says their goodbyes and leaves everyone with a great sense of peace and love and general satisfaction. Omg, yes, it is a beautiful notion. The first time I encountered an energy I was driving, it was black, and dense AF. It was basically sitting on my shoulder and all up in my space! I almost had a heart attack and crashed! It’s not all roses. People don't always write about the hard stuff. There are many things I haven't put to blog.
Right, so, what am I actually on about? Our insatiable need for confirmation. I consult healers and they are incredible humans, but they cannot tell me that I'm experiencing things ''correctly.'' There is no fact checker or mysticism encyclopedia that will interpret, confirm or deny your experiences. The bold statement at the end of this issue is:
SPIRITUALITY IS NOT DEFINED BY HOW MANY BELEIVE YOU. IT IS DEFINED BY HOW FIERCLY YOU BELIEVE AND TRUST YOURSELF.
I have experienced life changing freedom and excitement since I made this relisation... but I won’t tell you how. Go and find your own.