Updated: Aug 12
The full moon in cancer had me exhibiting all of the typical lunar symptoms. I felt it, but I was so involved in my daily rush that I didn't really stop to acknowledge it. That has been the presiding theme over the last month. Busy...crazy busy. As a result I have not been able to connect. I have been meditation but it has all felt superficial and (surprise, surprise) rushed.
I have done so many readings, taken so many calls, shared my humble opinion and given humble advice. The new year arrived with a bang and people needed help. As a healer, I feel super connected when I'm helping others but I cannot deny that I am neglecting myself. Meh - the empty cup proverb is rolling around my head. 🙄 I knew that I was missing something. When I got the message that there would be a Full Moon ritual and meditation held at the Awakenings Centre, there was no discussion, debate or doubt. I was going!
To start the evening we had to write down all of the things that we wanted to relinquish to the magic of 2022's first full moon. My list was clear and detailed as I was nurturing a desire to off load some old and heavy things. We lay down outside around a fire and begin a meditation guided by Sam. As she speaks we are gifted with some soft rain, it felt like tiny drops of comfort and confirmation. First, breathwork. Deep breaths, following their route through the body and visualising their effects. As we go on I realise that I have done it again! Forgotten the basics and therein lay the block between me and the connection I was jonesing for. I scolded myself. Seriously, how many times am I going to do this?
Following Sam's voice I begin to take note of a feeling....freedom. Because she is leading the meditation. I need only listen. No pressure to connect, unable to rush. That, and the fact that I trust her implicitly make for a smooth ride into the cosmos. I feel all control disappear as I begin to leave my body. Yeeesss man!
I'm high up, and I’m full of joy. I’m with my dad, my cousin, aunts and grans. My dad gives me huge hug and I cry (again). It’s a celebration and he says “we’re happy to see you, you haven’t been here for so long.” He’s right. “I’m sorry, I just can’t get in…” I cry reply. I remember the last time I was in this ray and before I know it I’m calling out for Ezekiel. He arrives and looks at me like “why are you shouting.” Ha ha😂 The best blue hug!!!! I tell him I miss him and he laughs as he says I’m being dramatic, “I’m still with you.” ''Yes'' I say, ''I knnnooowwww, but not really.” With all this love I forget where I am physically and what I came to do here.
Sam's voice catches my attention. All family fade away and I know its because I'm meant to listen. She is going through release mantras. “I release…”. We’re supposed to say it with her (in meditation). I lift off the ground and hover over the event. I'm staring at the fire in the center of entranced bodies, emitting green light again and as it fills the garden the wind picks up. With every mantra I do not simply repeat it, I SCREAM IT! I know it all sounds so dramatic! It actually reminds me of Storm from Xmen! 🌪😂 Apparently it wasn't dramatic enough because as I go on I am struck repeatedly by white lightning ⚡️ 🤷🏻♀️ .
As everything starts to settle down I expel a clump or ball of darkness. It sort of just, steps out of me. I see it and grab it. I hold it tight to my chest and sob. My family hug us both. A group hug that shifts me into ugly wail mode. 😬 "I notice that the black is coming away from the clump. Focusing on it, the black sort of falls off revealing, (dum, dum, dum) my inner child. OMG!!! The sobbing is out of control!!!!😭 She cries for me, I cry for her, my dead people are beaming and the whole thing is charged with so much love that I actually cannot.💚💚 When it’s all said and done I feel light and breezy and after my soul dances whimsically around the fire I am back with family. They ask how I feel and adorn me with approval and pride. It's beautiful.
At this point every one at the event is getting up to put their piece of paper into the fire as a means to seal the release and begin a new chapter. NOT A CHANCE! I am not leaving this reunion, besides it's already done, I knew it. Burning the page was merely symbolic. I spent what felt like hours with them. Suddenly from the back left hand side of my mind, Rozzie!!! My great aunt, one of the kindest people I ever knew. She pulls my focus back to Sam's voice and I realise that she is wrapping up. I was lying with my hands on my stomach. As Sam closes Rozzie whispers ''this is for you.'' I listen and repeat and Rozzie puts her hands on mine. I have never seen her so clearly or felt her so close. I cried...a lot!
I know its a huge amount of information, but I had to recount how special it was.
I remembered that I can't get comfortable, I always have to focus, always have to work to maintain balance and connection.
I remembered that I am never alone and always guided.
I learnt that we can do the most amazing things energetically, if we surrender.
It was the most magical of full moons and I'm left in varying hues of green - gratitude and love. Watch my social media for announcement of the next event at the Awakening Centre. 😉
Ezekiel gave me a message 👇🏻.